Grief after the loss of a pet can be profound. The bereavement process has no timeline, but often society expects the person mourning a beloved pet to do so quickly. Comments like “get another dog” belittle the person’s sorrow.
To some, the death of a pet can be as difficult as the loss of a person because the pet was a constant, “take- you-with-your- lumps-and-bumps” companion; an intimate part of daily routine; a confidant who kept all secrets as well as a sense of purpose and identity.
Neuroscience News recently reported on a paper published 3/24/24 in the journal Anthrozoös, by Jennifer Golbeck, a researcher at the University of Maryland. She analyzed “dog supernatural visits” noted by 544 dog owners on social media in response to a query she posted on Twitter/X and Instagram that detailed accounts of her pack of senior Golden Retrievers.
About half the supernatural visits from the respondents’ deceased dogs included physical or sensory manifestations like hearing nails clicking on the floor, feeling a wet nose press against their cheek, or sensing a dog sleeping next to them. The other half were such signs as hearing a meaningful song on the radio, seeing a similar pup, or meeting their dog in a dream.
Did my late Edgar Afghan Poe, a domino, send me the urgent message shortly after his death to help Obi, a domino in a desperate situation?
“Universally, these were peaceful interactions and almost universally comforting,” Golbeck said, in contrast to research that shows paranormal experiences to be negative. “Psychologically, it was good for people.”
Golbeck, a computer scientist, became interested in close encounters with passed pets because in 2017 she and her husband began rescuing ill and elderly Golden Retrievers and had already lost a dozen of their hospice dogs. While writing this paper, she received her master’s degree in psychology from Harvard.
To introduce her paper, Golbeck wrote: “Experiencing the ghosts of the departed is a common, cross-cultural experience of grief; such interactions are part of so-called externalized continuing bonds and represent an ongoing relationship with the departed. This paper characterizes people’s reported supernatural experiences with the spirits of their deceased dogs.”
She goes on to cite statistics that 85 percent of all dog guardians consider their dog to be a family member or best friend, and after one year, approximately 22 percent of dog owners still have some symptoms of grief.
Below are two examples of physical supernatural visits, reported in the study. The first comes from the author:
1) Less than a week after her Golden Riley died, Golbeck found him napping in her living room, “curled up like a croissant like he always was,” on his red and gray-fleece dog bed. “It took me a second to be like, ‘That’s not right,’” she said. “And when I looked back, he wasn’t there anymore.””
2) ” I’ve heard my late pup bark from his chair in my office. Clear as day; I know it was him.”
And two examples of signs or interpreted interactions reported in the study:
1) ” When we lost our Ellie, a week to the day after she passed, at the exact time of her passing, the smoke detector in our spare bedroom (her favorite place to relax) started beeping.”
2) ” My Reece a rescued Boxer, passed on June 6 and later that day I found an imprint of a paw by the fridge door. Wasn’t there before.”
I have always welcomed supernatural encounters with passed pets as comfort and a way of feeling they are still with me. I have many dreams about my Afghans where, for some reason, they are more skillfully trained performance-wise than they ever were when alive. We are going to an agility trial, or they are competing with me watching in awe. Not sure if this is wishful thinking.
However, the most vivid dream happened shortly after my tiny English Toy Spaniel Charlotte died in 2021. I felt her sleeping next to me as she did most nights for 17 years. I reached out to pet her and was so thankful for her presence even though reaching woke me up.
The signs my dogs send have been more dramatic. My Afghan Hound Alan, from Town of Oyster Bay Shelter, passed in 2007. Shortly after, I received a magnificent painting of him from the family of a late lovely lady who lived on Long Island but moved to assisted living in South Carolina to be near her daughter. About a week later, I got a call that Halle, a 16 month-old Afghan needed to be re-homed to people who would “appreciate” her. Alan sent me his painting and wonderful Halle, who became our life-of-the-party Afghan. Halle makes me laugh every time I mention her name.
My last dog, Edgar Afghan Poe from a New Mexico hoarder with 67 Afghans, died in November 2021. He was a domino, which means his coat was a specific blonde pattern with a widow’s peak on his head rather than a dark mask. Two months later I was working at the thrift shop and got a desperate Afghan Rescue call, saying a woman left her wealthy partner in California with her domino Afghan, was homeless and staying in the Bronx temporarily. She could not keep her Afghan because she was flying to her next temporary home in Georgia in one or two days.
The situation turned out to be convoluted and crazy with “too many Afghan Rescue cooks in the broth” but with no one else who could fetch Obi the domino in time. After a flat tire, the owner’s flight moved up a day and other mishaps, I met the owner in front of the Bronx house with surrender papers and grabbed Obi’s leash. I rode during a snowstorm comforting Obi while my friend drove us to meet Obi’s weekend foster in Connecticut who would take him to his Massachusetts foster for the next six months.
Obi was a young clone of my Edgar who sent me on Obi’s odyssey because he knew I would never leave a domino in distress.
