My friend’s house stinks of cat pee — I can’t stand visiting her

Pets

By Jane Herz

She’s not kitten around.

A woman has sparked a hairy online debate after meow-ing to Reddit to ask how she should approach telling a new friend that her house smells like cat pee — so badly, in fact, she’s scratched the idea of spending more time there.

Posting on the r/AskWomenOver30 subreddit, the 37-year-old explained that she only met the friend, who she calls “D,” in May.

“Unfortunately, I don’t enjoy spending time with D in her home (I have been 2x now),” the woman wrote. “Her home smells of cat/kitty litter/ammonia and there is cat fur on most everything.”

“On a scale of 1 to 10, the odor in D’s home was around a 5 the first time and 7 the 2nd time,” the post continued. “Both times the windows were open.”

The woman explained that although her friend has been to her house twice, “D” typically prefers to meet in her own home or elsewhere, but has since invited her over for dinner.

So, the Redditor told “D” that she has allergies and can’t come over — which is half true, as she is allergic to cats, but medicine typically takes care of the symptoms.

She just “can’t tolerate the terrible odor,” the writer explained, also noting that her friend “immigrated from Iran to Canada 15 years ago and has been in the US for 2 years.”

“I am curious how others would approach this situation?” the original poster asked. “I am considered leaning on my allergies bother me for days after leaving. I am also moderately conflict averse (prepping for conversations is a part of my own process for dealing with situations like this).”

In the comments, the majority of users urged the poster to talk to her friend, with one person even saying that anything otherwise was “not actually kind.”

“I personally would tell her,” the user wrote, in part. “I am of the belief that avoiding something like this is not actually kind. What if this has affected her ability to make other friends.”

Another agreed, typing, “As someone who’s afraid their home might smell bad, I’d want to know. I’d actually hate hearing it but be grateful if I got the message from someone who was being up front yet also clearly not judging me.”

“I don’t think there’s any harm in kindly letting her know,” one person seconded. “I have dogs and am paranoid about the smell and hair. It’s easy to become nose blind to this stuff if you’re around it all the time. Let her know.”

Others, however, felt that there was no harm in continuing the lie.

“I honestly would just continue to cite the allergies,” one Redditor wrote, with a response of 321 “upvotes.”

“Allergies,” someone else concurred. “That’s the only way to go.”

But it looks like the OP’s dilemma isn’t exactly one that’s out of the ordinary.

Last year, a fed-up person wrote into The Post’s “Dear Abby” to explain that their wife of 15 years has 12 cats, and their house smells “terrible.”

And, similarly to the Reddit posters, Dear Abby wrote back, “Tell your cat-loving wife that this isn’t what you signed on for.”