A bride-to-be has found herself at the centre of an online storm after her wedding invitation went viral – not for the venue, florals, or guest list, but for a pointed dress code that many say crossed the line.

The invitation, which was shared in a popular Facebook group dedicated to wedding shaming, included a section that read: ‘Dressy casual, please dress appropriately and respectable. This is a wedding reception, not girls’ night.’

While the bride might have intended to keep things elegant on the day, the tone of her wording has sparked backlash, with some accusing her of being passive aggressive, insecure, and even engaging in veiled sl*t-shaming.

‘Weird to want to announce your insecurity to everyone but you do you,’ the original poster quipped in the caption accompanying the photo.

‘I don’t agree with implying that clothing is what makes a woman “respectable”. If you want modest, just say that. But the implication in this is gross. Very simple.

‘It feels gross to me to make a passive-aggressive comment to only the girls that this ‘is not a girls night’. Implying that women don’t know what’s appropriate for a wedding? That we’re just naturally attention-seeking?’

Others were quick to pile on, arguing that the phrase unfairly targeted women and perpetuated outdated ideas about respectability.

‘I’ve seen way more inappropriately dressed men at weddings – jeans, tennis shoes or boots, wearing a cap – than I’ve seen women crossing the line, so it’s weird for her to only comment about women,’ one person wrote.

The invitation included a section that read: ‘Dressy casual, please dress appropriately and respectable. This is a wedding reception, not girls night’

‘It’s a disgusting implication and quite frankly I’d be so tempted to show up in my finest club wear,’ said another.

Others described the note as ‘catty’, ‘mean girl energy’ and ‘lecturing for no reason’.

Some thought the message felt suspiciously targeted.

‘The dress code seems aimed at a specific person or persons,’ one user commented. 

‘Like when my boss sent out a group text about wearing sports bras as shirts and there was only one person doing that – and that person ignored the memo and kept doing it.’

But not everyone saw an issue with the note.

A few defended the bride’s wording, saying clear boundaries were necessary.

‘Nothing wrong with expecting people to be appropriately dressed,’ one wrote.

A few defended the bride’s wording, saying clear boundaries were necessary

Another added, ‘I have a family member who I have to tell to cover up on Easter, Christmas and Thanksgiving. Not because I’m insecure but because she dresses really inappropriate and it’s actually embarrassing.’

One user took a more pragmatic view: ‘Having seen what female college students think is business casual, yeah I’d spell it out too.’

Still, for most people, it wasn’t the dress code that was the problem – it was the tone.

‘It’s a wedding, not a girls’ night is such a weird thing to say,’ one wrote.

And while the bride’s intent may have been to avoid any outfit faux pas, many felt there were kinder, clearer ways to say it – without making female guests feel called out.