Bride slammed for forcing bridesmaids into ‘extreme’ act to make her wedding day ‘perfect’ | World | News

Back view of the bride and bridesmaids holding the bouquets of roses

One bridesmaid took to Reddit to express her concerns (Image: Getty)

On the list of stressful life events, weddings are way up there. Such is the anxiety wrapped up in organising the big day, some brides and grooms-to-be can lose perspective and alienate their friends and family with their self-absorbed requests.

One such bride caused a stir on social media, after one of her bridesmaids drew attention to the bizarre demands she was making of those closest to her.

Posting anonymously on Reddit on September 18, the bridesmaid, 25, explained that her friend Zoe, 26, was getting married to a 30-year-old man in December 2024.

Zoe assembled her party of bridesmaids to discuss her plans for “hair, makeup, [and] dresses”, which the disgruntled bridesmaid said at first “seemed reasonable”.

Explaining the theme of the wedding, the bridesmaid said: “She’s going for a winter wonderland type of theme, so blue dresses (all in different shades, lined up as a gradient) with silvery accents, snowflake jewelry and soft makeup, even blue contacts for those of us without blue eyes.”

Excited Bride To Be Showing Her Engagement Ring

Bride and bridesmaids (Image: Getty)

The 25-year-old noted that it was unusual for a bride to ask her bridesmaids to wear contact lenses for a wedding, but that she was happy to oblige: “… it’s no big deal to me, I’ve worn color contacts for Halloween.”

However, the bride’s list of requests did not end there.

Besides discussions about the bridesmaids’ outfits, jewellery, make-up and contact lenses, the demanding bride also had very specific requirements about her posse’s hair.

The bridesmaid explained: “The bit that ended up being an issue for me is that Zoe requested we all get our hair dyed. A couple members of the bridal group are natural blondes (with dyed ends), and so is Zoe (but she wants to go platinum for the wedding), but the rest of us are two brunettes, a strawberry blonde (she wasn’t “blond enough”?), and a redhead.”

She continued: “I’m one of the brunettes and I’m the only one in the group who has never dyed or bleached their hair. I’ve considered it, but I can never stay settled on what I want to do, and I’d hate to spend money on something that I end up hating.

dyeing bleached hair

One of the bridesmaids felt being asked to dye her hair was unreasonable (Image: Getty)

“On top of that, my mom spent from ages 5-13 flat ironing my hair almost every single day. It really damaged my hair. I’m almost certain it’s resulted in my hair being thinner than it used to be. I know bleaching can also damage your hair, and I don’t feel comfortable taking that risk yet.”

The dye-shy bridesmaid explained to Zoe that she would not altering her hair colour, but the bride-to-be put up a fight.

“I told Zoe I wouldn’t be able to dye my hair. She insisted it would be fine, as my hair seemed quite healthy and she would be paying for the bleaching treatments for all of us. I again said no, thanks so much, but I can’t.”

The anxious Reddit user told her friend that she’d be willing to wear a wig, but that damaging her hair was not something she was willing to do: “I asked if I could just wear a wig and she said no, that wigs are cheap and unnatural, and she wants us to have our real hair bleached instead of some cheap imitation for the day.

“After more back and forth, she told me I should go home and think about the fact that I’m ruining her vision and that I’d be ruining the photos and wedding video that she and her fiancé (30 M) will be putting together for his grandparents (84 M & 82 F) to view, since they won’t be able to fly in from Argentina.

“I apologized, paid for my meal, and left.”

The 25-year-old asked Reddit users to whether or not she was in the wrong, on the sub-Reddit “Am I The A**hole”.

She asked: “I really don’t want to dye my hair, but I also don’t want to ruin Zoe’s picture perfect day. I don’t think I’m being difficult or wrong here, but am I?”

The post was lit up with comments, as more than two thousand people had their say on the matter. Their verdict was damning.

One user backed the worried bridesmaid, telling her that they would have raised concerns about the bride’s demands far earlier.

They said: “I would’ve backed out on the demand to wear contacts. Trying to force others to bleach hair for a wedding? Absurd. Just back out now, it’s not worth being part of this crazy Elsa themed wedding. She’s only going to get worse. Run.”

Another came to the defence of the 25-year-old poster, saying: “They make very realistic lace fronts these days. Bleaching your hair is extreme and very bad for your hair, I would bow out of the wedding altogether if I couldn’t wear a wig. you’re NTA here”.

More comments in favour of the bridesmaid flooded in: “Making someone with a darker complexion, with dark hair and dark eyes, into a blue-eyed blonde is going to look really unnatural.

“A wedding is not just a “perfect day” for the couple getting married. It’s also a social event, where the couple are the hosts, and the guests are, well, guests, and need to be welcomed and comfortable.

“It’s clear that your “friend” doesn’t want you, a dark-eyed dark-haired person, in her wedding. She wants cookie-cutter Barbie dolls. She can line up some blue eyed blonde blow-up dolls to get a wedding party that looks identical, or she can welcome her friends to her bridal party as the diverse group of people that they are.”

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