Hearing the shower turn on, I jumped to his side of the bed and lunged for his phone. I knew I had roughly five minutes (why do some men insist on speed-showers?!) to gather as much intel as possible.

This was an opportunity too tempting to pass up, and I had to take it.

A few years ago, I was dating a guy who, in theory, seemed like the man of my dreams. He owned a farm, could ride a horse, had a strong, masculine energy, and a booming deep voice to match. He was basically Rip from Yellowstone before Rip was even a thing.

I was completely smitten. Everything was going swimmingly until I took a brief holiday to London and returned to find a very different boyfriend. He seemed less interested, started hiding his phone or keeping it face down on the table at dinner, and a mutual friend mentioned he’d had a big night at the pub while I was away where his ex-girlfriend just so happened to be.

My little Spidey senses were tingling. Not in a good way. Something was up, and I needed to know what.

Now, full disclosure: we all do dumb things when we’re in love, and this was certainly not my finest moment. What I did next wasn’t great. But at the end of the day, I did it.

I knew his phone passcode because, well, he was reckless with those things. He’d asked me to find an address on his phone months ago while he was driving, and I – despite rarely remembering where I put my car keys – had definitely remembered his passcode. In fact, I could still recite it now, years later.

Anyway, within five seconds, I was in. I went straight to his texts and typed in his ex-girlfriend’s name. Nothing. He had either deleted the messages or been blocked. No worries, there were other avenues to explore.

Jana asked her followers for stories of what they’d found on their partners’ phones – and their responses did not disappoint

I opened Instagram and searched her name. Nope. He had been blocked from her account. Interesting.

So, I checked his Facebook messages. Bingo. There it was, he had been blowing up her inbox, asking why he had been blocked, reminiscing about how much fun they had that night when I was in London, requesting a sexy picture, and even asking if he could come over. (God, he really was a creep, looking back.)

She, on the other hand, was having none of it. Her replies were pure scorn: demanding to know why he had slept with her while still with me, why he hadn’t dumped me yet, and, most shockingly, how the hell I was in town that weekend. (How did she know?!)

I was instantly heartbroken. By the time he stepped out of the shower, I had packed my bags and was already heading for the door. He looked shocked and asked where I was going. I screamed at him to check his Facebook, called him every name under the sun, and jumped in my car.

He tried to jump in front of it. But at that moment it was like I was Lewis Hamilton, practically drag racing past him. It was all rather dramatic.

Side note: deeply irresponsible and wouldn’t recommend, but good lord, the racing car angels were looking down on me that day.

I spent the next four hours crying and listening to Adele on repeat as I drove back to Sydney. Over the following month, in the depths of heartbreak, I deeply regretted going through his phone. I genuinely thought he was the love of my life. A part of me wondered if I could have just blissfully ignored the red flags and had a happy, oblivious life with him.

In reality? No. But in the moment? I really regretted it.

Here are just some of the wildest things people had uncovered while checking their partners’ phones (stock image posed by a model)

That got me thinking, what had other people found on their partners’ phones? I threw the question to my Instagram followers, and, once again, their answers did not disappoint. In fact, they made my story seem downright boring in comparison.

Here are just some of the wildest things people had uncovered…

The VERY graphic video

There was the wife who came across a lewd video on her husband’s phone:

‘I think the worst that I found was a video of another woman masturbating. It was a close up in her “area” and then after she “came” she asked if he liked it. I can never erase that from my mind. Needless to say, we are now divorced.’

When I asked her how he responded when she confronted him, she said: ‘He tried to pretend it wasn’t even there and I had made it up. 

‘Then when I played it on his phone for him, he made up a story. He is good at stories. He said that the woman in question had been sending him heaps of messages and he had tried to shut it down. 

‘He said she was notorious for sending this kind of thing to lots of people. He told me he had gone to his boss and reported it, and also was dealing with her boss to try to control the “situation” (he met her through work). 

‘Even though she had been reported, she continued to send messages to him. Of course there were messages from him to her and he had engaged in the “conversations”.

‘He later admitted that he would often text her while travelling for work. Now five years later he has changed the narrative surrounding his infidelity and the breakdown of our marriage. He says that I was always accusing him of cheating because I was very insecure and he couldn’t deal with it anymore.’

Oh, how we love a gaslighter. 

Seriously, why can’t these men ever just take responsibility? I know when I’m on dates with guys who go on and on about how ‘crazy’ their exes were, the first thing I think is, ‘Yeah, but what did you do to make her that way.’

The wedding photo thirst trap 

Then there was the husband who used his wedding photo as a thirst trap. Yes, you read that right.

‘On my husband’s phone I found one of our wedding pictures that he’d sent to another woman. He commented that he wished it was her in his arms and not me,’ she said. 

‘When I asked him about it, he downplayed it saying it meant nothing and he didn’t even read the reply. I can’t look at that picture without thinking of that message.’

When I asked why she still stayed with him, she said it was a tough one to answer.

‘It’s a mix of not wanting my relationship to have become a statistic and also the fear of disappointing my family,’ she replied.

‘Presenting the external appearance that everything was going well while internally feeling just sad. I wore a level of shame and feeling unattractive and unlovable for a long time. A fear of also being alone forever. It’s a lot of complex emotions.’

That just breaks my heart. As someone who has been single for a while now, my only message would be: trust me, it’s much easier to be single with low cortisol levels than stay in a relationship and feel miserable. I think she’d surprise herself by how free it feels to get out of a dud relationship and give yourself a glow-up. My advice? Run!

The ex-girlfriend files 

There was also a scary reoccurring theme of wives discovering their ‘good guy’ husbands kept nude photos and videos of their ex-girlfriends.

One woman told me: ‘I didn’t find anything on his phone, but on his desktop. There were folders of nudes from his exes. 

‘Some of whom I found out he was sleeping with while sleeping with me. I don’t know if these other women even know he has them still. He also had video recordings of some of his encounters. Those videos did not look consensual.’

Then there was the woman who proved not all superheroes wear capes.

‘Buried deep in his camera roll was a folder. Not just a rogue video or two, but a carefully curated collection of homemade sex videos, starring him and at least five separate women,’ she said. 

‘In every video he gave the same disgustingly enthusiastic performance. So I deleted them. Not just because I wanted to, but because of girl code. 

‘I doubt any of those women wanted their personal videos floating around his camera roll. I considered it a community service. 

‘After that, I couldn’t look at him the same way. It killed my sex drive, picturing him with other women, with a gross look on his face. I have no regrets and would do it again.’

But as we know, women (sadly) can be just as reckless, and one man took his anger out in a, um, interesting way…

It’s not just the men

‘I found a video on my girlfriend’s phone showing her full-on playing with herself. Getting right in there… She claimed it was for me,’ he said.

‘I found the guy who had been receiving them. Rang him, had a chat. She hadn’t mentioned to him that she had a partner and two kids. 

‘I grabbed the toy she had used in one of the videos. Took it outside and destroyed it with the hammer. Don’t know why but in that moment it felt like the right thing to do. That was the end of that relationship.’

RIP sex toy.

The work fling… with a plot twist 

Another man discovered his wife was having a ‘fling’ with her female boss – with a slight plot twist. 

‘I found nude pics of my ex-wife’s boss (she was female). When I confronted her, she called it a fling. Told me it went on for a few weeks, they got it on at work one night back at the office after a work party, sent some steamy pics and texts,’ he told me.

‘Then the boss told her it was to stop due to conflict at work etc. etc. She then offered me the chance to be with another woman as a counter offer, but I rejected it and called it off. (For context, I wasn’t faithful myself but she didn’t know that. I know it’s wrong of me but she was the one who got caught.)’

I mean, maybe they were a match made in heaven?

The woman who found too much  

Then there was the woman who really hit the jackpot with her snooping.

‘I simultaneously found an Ashley Madison profile and Bumble profile. Oh, and it turns out he had a penchant for finding prostitutes using the classifieds site Scarlett Blue. And there was a work associate who was definitely giving hook-up vibes.’

Ooft! Why have one cheeky affair when you can have a million!

The one that should be in jail

And finally, the man who confessed to doing quite possibly the stupidest (and illegal, may I add) thing he’s ever done…

‘My wife found explicit photos of her that I had sent to other guys from the internet. Dumbest thing I’ve ever done. Cost me me marriage and the most perfect woman ever,’ he said.

To that message, I simply wrote back: ‘You should be in jail.’

So there you have it, folks. It just once again proves the saying ‘dance like no one’s watching, but text and email like it will be read out in court one day’. Because, as you can see, they often are.