“I’m pretty tolerant of others’ belief systems. And while I don’t understand it, I do respect it. But we’re literally less than two months out now from our big day.”
MarketWatch personal finance columnist Beth Pinsker answers the internet’s most searched questions about how to save for life’s biggest milestones.
Once you’ve answered the biggest question of where, then follows what seems like thousands of ‘smaller’ questions about when, what, how, and you’ll eventually find yourself asking ‘why’?
So imagine if the big ‘where’ was snatched from you just six weeks out from the big day?
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One woman doesn’t have to imagine after her brother pulled the pin on her request to host the wedding at his house.
The woman said she’d decided on an intimate wedding ceremony with her fiance, and they asked her brother and SIL if they could have it in their backyard “about a year ago”.
“They said they would be honoured to host,” the woman writes.
“We knew it was a big ask, since they had a second newborn on the way, and promised we would be as unobtrusive as possible and take care of everything that needed to be done.
“For guest count, we are at 26 people, so this is as intimate as possible for a backyard wedding.
“They insisted it would be a wonderful setting and would mean a lot to them to have it there as well.”
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“We’re literally two months out now”
However, just six weeks out, the brother informed the bride-to-be she could no longer use their backyard.
“Through happenstance, their nanny/family friend (who is also a monk) found out we were having our wedding there, and told them it would bring less luck to their family,” she wrote.
“Apparently the superstition goes that if you host a sibling’s wedding at your house, you give away your luck to that family.
“Now that they are parents to a 6mo and a 2yo, they don’t want anything to happen to them and want to give them the best chance at life as they possibly can.”
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The woman said her brother did try to help find a new venue, but naturally she was floored by the news.
“Our family has never really been superstitious,” she wrote. “I know my SIL’s family is more conservative and believes in these sort of things.
“I’m pretty tolerant of others’ belief systems. And while I don’t understand it, I do respect it. But we’re literally less than two months out now from our big day.
“Fortunately a venue change isn’t too difficult, but it definitely throws a curveball into logistics when we’ve had everything already set.”
The woman says she loves her brother, and believes he would try to cover the cost of the new venue, but also admits she wants “nothing to do with him”.
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“He’s just proven he is untrustworthy”
People were quick to jump in with their opinions, with many saying the brother’s reasons just didn’t pass the pub test.
“What a strange story,” one person wrote. “I wonder if there is some other reason he doesn’t want to host your wedding.
“Perhaps he is being pressured by his in-laws? If so, he needs to learn to stand up to them.
“Regardless, this puts you in a bind, and he’s just proven he is untrustworthy. I would be furious too.
“I would calmly explain to him that you are very unhappy with this development, that it is causing significant issues with your wedding plans, and that while you love him, he is no longer invited to the wedding because what he just did was so disrespectful to you and your fiance.”
“Just tell him that you don’t want to bring bad luck to his house and you don’t want him to bring bad luck to your wedding,” another person wrote.
“You are afraid some superstition you are unaware of might follow him into your wedding.
“It’s just as ridiculous an excuse as he gave you. Just don’t share the new location or the correct time with him, or be honest and just tell him that his cancellation of the location was also his cancellation of the invitation.”