At a wedding recently I sat next to an actress turned TV cook whose latest book was on cakes, so naturally we fell to examining that day’s centrepiece.

“Quite generic sponge. Not really fresh. Not actually sure what the flavour is,” she said.

“Peel-off icing,” I said, throwing mine over my shoulder.

“Mind you,” she said, lowering her voice, “I’ve never made a wedding cake. I’ve always refused. I even said no to my best friend and we nearly fell out for ever.”

“Crumbs,” I said, silently adding: “Can you call yourself a baker if you haven’t made a wedding cake?”

“But it would ruin a whole week! It would definitely ruin the weekend and the day itself. It would be horrendous!”

“Tell me about