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A woman has sparked uproar after suggesting brides-to-be send ‘sorry you can’t make it’ cards to guests who fail to meet the RSVP deadline for weddings.

Nishma Mistry put together a draft message to send to family and friends who miss the invitation deadline after seeing the ‘frustrations’ of brides.

The 39-year-old, who has been married herself for 14 years, runs the Asian Bride Sorority and was constantly hearing complaints from brides who were irritated by guests who had not let them know if they were attending their nuptials.

The marketing manager, who is originally from London but now lives in Atlanta, Georgia, explained that South Asian weddings in particular often have hundreds of guests and several days of events, therefore, getting a headcount is very important. 

Nishma Mistry put together a draft message to send to family and friends who miss the invitation deadline after seeing the ‘frustrations’ of brides
The 39-year-old, who has been married herself for 14 years, runs the Asian Bride Sorority and was constantly hearing complaints from brides who were irritated by guests who had not let them know if they were attending their nuptials

Nishma recalled how, ahead of her own wedding, she was frustrated by having to call around all of her 550 guests to see if they were coming so she could sort out catering and table plans.

She wishes she had thought to send a message at the time and decided to help brides-to-be by putting together a draft statement.

It reads: ‘We’re sorry you can’t make it to our wedding.

‘Our RSVP deadline has passed and you unfortunately did not respond.

‘We would have loved to have you attend, but final numbers have now been turned in and your presence will be missed. Bride and groom.’

Despite some calling it ‘tacky’ and ‘harsh’, Nishma had lots of support from brides. 

She shared: ‘I see the frustration of not getting RSVPs back. I thought let me draft something.

‘I got some criticism of it being a bit too harsh. People are saying it is a bit tacky. But people have the invite for four months. It’s inconsiderate.’

Nishma recalled how, ahead of her own wedding, she was frustrated by having to call around all of her 550 guests to see if they were coming so she could sort out catering and table plans

Nishma admitted the wording may need perfecting but backs the need for it.

She said: ‘Everyone is allowed to have an opinion. In South Asian culture there are often 500 people and several events.

‘I had 550 guests. The wedding ceremony was one day. The reception was one day. We had a pre-wedding event with 200 people and a civil wedding.

‘I had to call everyone and ask “are you coming?” It was such a waste of time.

‘You have a list a size of your arm to get done and you’re trying to appease everyone.

‘People don’t realize the importance of responding back.

The marketing manager, originally from London, but now living in Atlanta, explained that South Asian weddings often have hundreds of guests and several days of events

‘I don’t think anyone had to RSVP in our culture before. I don’t know if it was an etiquette.’

Nishma says she got a mixed response but many brides could resonate with it.

One said: ‘I absolutely love it. The people have a problem with it are the people that would not RSVP.’

Another said: ‘No I wish I did this. Even people who did RSVP didn’t show up it made me so angry thinking about all the money we spent on them.’

Nishma concluded: ‘Lots of brides replied saying “I’m stealing this.” If I was getting married now I’d tweak the wording and send it.’



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