NEED TO KNOW
- A woman says her fiancé’s mother and sister are upset because they aren’t invited to their “micro wedding”
- She said that while the pair are invited to the small dinner following the ceremony, they will not be at the actual nuptials
- The woman shared her story on a popular community forum, where the vast majority of commenters told her she was being unreasonable
A woman says her future mother-in-law and sister-in-law are “upset” because they are not invited to her small wedding — and she’s wondering who’s at fault.
The woman detailed her story on the “Am I Being Unreasonable?” forum on the U.K.-based community site Mumsnet.com, a place where women can go to seek advice about interpersonal issues. In her post, the bride-to-be explained that she and her fiancé are having a “micro wedding” with only three people at the ceremony — two from her side and one from her partner’s side.
“We are inviting six people apart from us to the wedding reception meal, all paid for by us, of course,” she added.
She went on to say that her fiancé’s mother and sister are upset that they will not be included in the ceremony portion of the day and are only invited to the dinner.
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“We didn’t intentionally exclude them, but we chose another family member from his family [to attended the ceremony] who we are both much closer to,” she explained.
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She added, “The rest of my fiancé’s family has never been particularly welcoming to me and I was always excluded during Christmas and other occasions. That’s probably why his mom wasn’t at the top of my mind when we were choosing witnesses for the wedding ceremony.”
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“His family are of course blaming me for everything,” she continued, before asking, “Are we in the wrong?”
The vast majority of commenters told the bride that she should think long and hard before excluding her future mother-in-law from the ceremony.
“YABU [you are being unreasonable]. It’s her son,” one person said.
“I can see why they’re upset. Not a great start to family relations,” said someone else.
Another person said, “Absolutely invite who you want, but it is bold to not invite the parent of a child to a significant family event. We had a small wedding with all parents and siblings. It would have been very rude with long term consequences if we hadn’t.”
Someone else said that while they understood why the woman’s future in-laws were upset, they were taking their hurt out on the wrong person.
“Surely the decision […] was his choice, not yours?” they said, adding, “He’s entitled to invite who he wants from his side — I assume you didn’t pressure him and I assume he had his reasons. They are unreasonable to blame you. If they have a problem they should take it up with him.”
