Big guest lists, extravagant venues and eye-watering budgets – are they becoming a thing of the past for weddings?
That’s what jewellers Austen & Blake set out to discover after surveying 1,000 couples across the UK about the priorities, values and trends influencing modern weddings.
The findings suggest the way couples say ‘I do’ is changing, with many opting for more intimate, laid-back celebrations and phone-free ceremonies instead of lavish affairs.
According to the survey, traditions such as parents paying for the wedding, the bride wearing white, wedding speeches, throwing the bouquet and the first dance are among those couples would be most willing to leave behind.
But is that reflected locally? We spoke to three wedding venues in Spalding to find out whether local couples are following the trend – and what changes they have noticed in recent years.
Crown Hall Farm
The Crown Hall Farm, just outside Spalding, turned its site into a wedding venue during Covid-19 pandemic and held its first wedding a year later.
Since then, the events manager and owner, Natalie Slack, said that although some traditions, such as having bridesmaid and groomsmen and wearing white, still remain strong, some changes reflect the findings of the survey.
She said couples are opting for less traditional meals, such as a casual barbecue or a hog roast, rather than a large, seated three-course meal.
“I think couples have more financial freedom nowadays, so they can make their wedding about what they want,” said Natalie. “I think the days of trying to please your parents are long gone because couples pay for it themselves.”
Themed weddings, such as Harry Potter and Wild West-inspired celebrations, are also proving popular at the Crown Hall Farm, but when it comes to the cake-cutting ceremony, preferences are more divided.
While some couples opt for a large, four-tier wedding cake, others choose a smaller cake solely for the ceremonial cutting and serve cupcakes to their guests instead.
Natalie said she has been seeing fewer church weddings, with more couples choosing outdoor ceremonies. Crown Hall Farm, for example, is popular for ceremonies at its boathouse overlooking the lake.
Natalie thinks that weddings overall have become more intimate and more relaxed because couples have become more budget conscious and are not giving into the pressure of doing things for others as much.
She said: “I think it’s nice to keep some traditions, but equally, each couple needs to decide what’s important to them.
“I think they still care about making sure their guests are happy, but they also want to have a lovely day without blowing the budget. So, the days of trying to please their parents by inviting all their friends and family are gone.
“I think many of them are also thinking about other things, such as buying a house or having children, so they don’t want to spend all their money on a grand wedding.”
Natalie added that, aside from the cost, couples nowadays have more opportunities to personalise their weddings, and social media has played a big part in that. She said that when she got married 18 years ago, that wasn’t the case.
She added: “Things were more structured, whereas nowadays couples see what other people have done on social media. Before, you would only see those ideas at someone else’s wedding or hear about them, so choices, such as flowers, were more limited and tended to be similar.”
Cley Hall Hotel
Just a stone’s throw from Spalding town centre is a historic Georgian house which, alongside serving as a hotel, also hosts weddings for up to 50 guests.
Similarly to Crown Hall Farm, the general manager of the Cley Hall Hotel, Gemma Williams, has seen couples opting for simpler weddings, especially over the past year and a half.
This includes turning away from ‘full-blown’ three-course meals in favour of hog roasts and buffets, as well as fewer church ceremonies. “We’re seeing more picky food,” said Gemma.
Some traditions, such as throwing the bouquet or videographers, have been falling out of favour for some time.
Similarly to Natalie, Gemma believes the cost-of-living crisis and social media have encouraged couples to keep their weddings more relaxed and minimalist, which in turn means some traditions are gradually dying out.
“I think it’s really good to move with the times,” said Gemma. “Some traditions are a bit outdated. It’s nice to see some traditions are still there but we are at a completely different place that we were a years ago.”
Gemma said couples now have more freedom, and the reception has become more focused on the party, with the wedding side of things kept as a formality.
At Cley Hall Hotel, Gemma said they have introduced glow sticks, full DJ sets and a bar to create a more party-like atmosphere.
“We’re seeing people doing shots at the bar, which is a switch from the more traditional wine and beer. People are less interested in sitting down and just want to have fun.”
The influence of the digital world has also led some couples to get more creative, with two couples even live-streaming their ceremonies for those unable to attend in person.
Gemma said her brides still wear white and grooms still opt for formal suits, but she believes that in the next couple of years, traditions such as speeches could completely die out.
Ayscoughfee Hall
Weddings at the Grade I-listed building are set within five acres of public gardens, and due to its historic setting, some traditional elements still make an appearance.
“We had a chimney sweep come to congratulate the couple once,” said Cliff Jay, museum assistant at Ayscoughfee Hall. “But I have only seen that once in my time here — it used to be a firm tradition in Britain.”
Dressed in a traditional top hat and sweep’s attire, the ‘lucky’ chimney sweep would be invited to the wedding to shake the groom’s hand and give the bride a kiss (often on the cheek) – a symbolic gesture believed to bring good fortune to the newlyweds.
But even with the historic backdrop, Cliff said traditions are also ‘dying out’ at the venue.
He said weddings have become smaller, shorter and more intimate, with couples placing more focus on the reception than the ceremony itself.
“A lot more couples are doing it themselves and not relying so much on their parents, so they’re a lot more cost-conscious,” said Cliff.
“I have seen fewer bouquet tosses, for example, with more couples opting for drinks and nibbles instead.
“Many couples nowadays want to have a nice day, but they are thinking more about saving for a house deposit rather than having a lavish day trying to please others.”
With food being kept simpler — something spotted across all the venues — one thing Ayscoughfee Hall also has in common with others is the white dress.
In fact, its historic backdrop means this tradition is likely to remain for some time at the venue, said Cliff, along with hiring photographers.
If you’re from the Spalding area and are getting married this summer, we want you to celebrate with us. Couples can place their wedding announcement for free in the Lincolnshire Free Press.
Simply visit www.imads.co.uk, add your details, select Notices and Family Announcements, choose the Lincs Free Press, pick your celebration type, style and message, and enter CELEBRATE at checkout.
Finally, what do you think about some of the wedding traditions that are changing? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
