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You can’t see me right now, but I’m laughing quite hysterically. Why? Well, I’ve run across what could be the cheapest “luxury yacht” in the world, and guess who is responsible for it? None other than good old China!

Kinocean Boat
6 photos

Photo: Foshan Kindle Technology Co.

Folks, I love myself a solid chuckle, and what initially started out as a search for the cheapest boats that China can spit out, I ran across Kinocean’s wonderous 13-foot (4 m) aluminum jet boat. Oh, and I have to mention that the words “for drifting” come up on the manufacturer’s Alibaba page. It’s time to see what the heck we’re being sold for $3,500 (€3,200 at current exchange rates).

That’s right, $3,500 is all this puppy is going for if you buy at least two units at a time. Of course, there are bound to be all sorts of shipping and import costs, but this is about as cheap as we can get for something like this, to say the least.

Now, the minds and hands behind this floating wonder are the folks over at Kinocean, but this is nothing but a brand from none other than Foshan Kindle, a team I’ve been covering extensively recently, mainly because they have a knack for crafting another outdoor tool I love, campers and travel trailers.

Kinocean Boat

Photo: Foshan Kindle Technology Co.

Overall, we’re buying a 13-foot machine rafted out of nothing other than aluminum that’s been welded into place for great “resale benefits.” this seems to be the sales pitch the manufacturer relies on; this boat is bound to maintain “85% of its value over time.”

While I couldn’t care less about reselling this thing, I do care about what that $3,500 will bring me, and by the looks of reviews from American buyers, we’re actually in for a treat. Heck, take the video Foshan uses to entice future owners; this is what got me cracking up. But it’s also where things get a little fishy.

If you’ve seen the video below, you noticed one of Foshan’s aluminum boats ripping it up through those whitewater rapids. The catch here is that while Foshan uses this video to advertise their aluminum vessel’s abilities to stand up to some of nature’s power, it’s actually a scene achieved by Timothy O’Sullivan back in 2022 when he descended Nevis Bluff Rapids in a jet-boat. If we compare what the video shows and what we see on the boat, it’s clearly not the same thing. But this is China we’re talking about, and this sort of plagiarism happens every day; let’s not lose sight of what is really important here: the hunk of aluminum.

Kinocean Boat

Photo: Foshan Kindle Technology Co.

According to the manufacturer’s website, this is said to be a “Luxury Yacht,” but I cover those daily, and this couldn’t be any further from the truth. Beyond that, it can accommodate up to five people, and with an outboard motor, it’s bound to be one sketchy ride. Foshan even recommends motors with power of up to 310 hp to be used on one of these. My captaining experience tells me that strapping a 310 hp motor to this thing is bound to be wild and sure to require some solid experience to handle safely.

Speaking of handling, the underside is a V-hull with a V box, but again, it’s all very basic. There don’t seem to be any strakes on this thing, which worries me a bit. Just the edges of shaped and bent aluminum to keep this puppy steady. Hopefully, the keel will bring some stability.

As for the interior and cockpit, I mentioned that there’s a room for up to five guests, two in the front and three in the back, and if you plan on bringing along a cooler and some sandwiches too, storage bays at the rear and front of the ship are in place. At least, the images seem to show us this.

Kinocean Boat

Photo: Foshan Kindle Technology Co.

If you happen to be in the front row of this rather wild ride, you’ll be able to store some goodies in any of the bays integrated into the dashboard, hold onto an aluminum oh-$#!^ bar, or marvel at those sketchy welds holding up that aluminum guardrail if your unit even comes with one.

All this brings me to the biggest problem I have with buying stuff from manufacturers, showing us the proverbial left while the right does something else. Exploring this aluminum hunk of hospitalization, I noticed that images portray an array of watercraft, all promising to be what you buy. Some have windshields, others include those grab bars I mentioned, and some even display different dashboards.

So, what are we to believe? Well, you can bet your bottom dollar that what you’ll receive is going to be the most basic “boat” ever, so expect the worst, so that anything but will do just fine. Honestly, it comes across as the sort of deal you can make a TikTok video about; what you order isn’t what you got.

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