A bride-to-be has asked if she’s wrong to not want to allow her husband’s brother to wear different clothing to the rest of the groom’s party, even though he has elephantiasis and is unable to fit into the suit chosen for him. She divided opinion when she said that she understood that the disabled man would have to wear slippers as he couldn’t get his feet into normal shoes.

But the woman, writing on Reddit forum r/weddingshaming, said that she was not prepared to allow him to wear jeans. Her stance has caused a family rift and her betrothed has said he thinks she’s being selfish and should be more understanding. He told her that he values his family and his relationship with his brother.

She said: “But what about me, the woman he is marrying. I’ve been envisaging my wedding since childhood. I do not have a wedding planner or co-ordinator, I’m doing it all on my own and I want a uniform look – the jeans and slippers are a no-no. Am I wrong?”

Her fellow posters on the popular forum said they understood her stance and thought that her groom and his family should get some pants made that he could wear, as it was such a special day and that required everyone to make an effort to make sure the ceremony went without a hitch. Others, however, suspected there was more to it than just jeans and thought the bride just didn’t want him to be the best man at all.

One said: “I get not wanting one of the groomsmen wearing jeans while the rest are in tuxes but couldn’t they just have some pants made? Tailors can do that,” and another said: “You have to make some sacrifices to be in a wedding. Look at all the bridesmaids have to do. I don’t want to spend a ton of money and time on shoes, dress, make up and hair plus having the dress fitted etc but you know that when you accept. It really sucks for the guy and I feel for him but just getting pants isn’t that big of a request.”

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However, a third person said: “Totally agree with the wife on that point only. But something tells me that even if they got pants made she would find another reason to exclude him.” And another person said: “Both sides of this are dumb. Throwing the brother out of the wedding is a bad solution, but so is having him stand up with jeans and slippers on.”

And one person offered a solution to the quandary, saying: “If he’s having such a hard time getting around, he could sit in a wheelchair with a light blanket in the wedding colours over whatever pants fit him. Or the groom could take the initiative to get a pair of black pants that will fit his brother comfortably – not just throw up his hands and say ‘jeans are the only option’.”