Eloping used to mean running away to get hitched in secret, but these days, it can be anything from city hall nuptials to a backyard party — any celebration with minimal fanfare. And as the cost of getting married continues to climb, couples are rethinking what their ceremony and reception should look like.
The average wedding in Canada now costs anywhere from $30,000 to $42,000, and many nearlyweds are covering some, if not all, of the bills themselves. But sometimes, the decision to elope isn’t just about saving money.
Wedding planners say couples are opting for private ceremonies that free them from the expectations that can come with a larger guest list.
And even celebrities — like Dua Lipa and Callum Turner, and Charli XCX and George Daniel — are getting in on the trend (though both couples followed up with bigger multi-day events in Sicily).
But whatever form the modern elopement takes, it’s about forgoing convention and prioritizing intimacy.
Easy, intentional weddings
At least that’s why Lauren and Graham Mackenzie chose to elope. The Dartmouth, N.S., couple, who have been together since 2010, married last New Year’s Eve after deciding a traditional wedding wasn’t for them.
“We had been together for a very long time and already felt married in many ways,” Lauren said. “Neither one of us wanted a wedding, which I think was part of the reason we never really bothered to get engaged sooner.”
They also knew that because Lauren’s family is based in the U.K., it would be difficult and expensive for all of their family and friends to attend. So just a month before their nuptials, they booked a package at a wedding chapel in nearby Wolfville.
Only two witnesses were with them on the day, along with their dogs, and they didn’t tell anyone else.
When the newlyweds walked out of the chapel after their evening wedding, they called Lauren’s family in the U.K. to wish them a happy new year — and tell them they were married.
“I did feel a little anxious about keeping it a secret,” Lauren said. “Luckily, everyone was very happy for us.”
They ended the night at a local hotel, celebrating with cake, champagne and sparklers.
More than saving money
Sarah Anderson, owner of the Wolfville Wedding Chapel where Lauren and Graham got married, has witnessed the shift first-hand. Of the more than 450 weddings her venue has hosted since it opened five years ago, 225 were elopements.
“I think cost is definitely part of the conversation, but I actually don’t think it’s the whole story anymore,” she said. “Couples are questioning a lot of default wedding expectations and asking themselves what they genuinely want their wedding day to feel like.”
Anderson says many of her clients want a wedding focused on the experience of getting married without the hassle of managing a massive production. They want the day to be less about performance and more about being present.
“People are realizing that intimacy creates emotion,” she said. “When there are 12 people in a room instead of 180, everything feels bigger in the best way. The vows hit harder. The laughter feels louder. People are actually connected to what’s happening.”
According to Anderson, the trend grew out of the pandemic, when public health restrictions forced couples to scale back their celebrations. It gave people the idea that a meaningful wedding doesn’t have to take months of elaborate planning.
Monica DeLuca, founder of Calgary-based Luca Occasions, has also seen demand grow for elopements. Many of her clients are looking to plan destination weddings in Banff, Alta., and the Canadian Rockies, choosing to spend their money on an experience rather than a large guest list.
“The joy of eloping is you can do exactly what you want,” said DeLuca. “There is no pressure to spend the day mingling with friends and family.”
Elopements don’t have to be a secret
When you only invite your closest friends and family, however, or do away with the guest list entirely, it can cause friction.
In DeLuca’s experience, most couples prefer to share the news with their friends and families before they elope, and her advice is to be honest.
“There can be pressure from families — especially from parents who have thought about the day they would be at their child’s wedding, walking them down the aisle,” she said. “Someone can be disappointed and still support you. Talk to your parents beforehand and explain the ‘why’ behind the decision. Typically they understand.”
The lack of emotional clutter is what Anderson loves most about elopements. At her chapel, she officiates ceremonies for a wide variety of people, and says they all show up relaxed.
“We have couples in their 20s who look at traditional weddings and immediately think, ‘Absolutely not,’” Anderson said. “We have couples in their 40s and 50s getting married for the second time and wanting something more grounded and meaningful. We have families with kids, LGBTQ+ couples — couples flying in from across Canada because they want Nova Scotia woven into their story somehow.”
“But the common thread is usually this: they want to feel like themselves on their wedding day.”
